Friday, May 23, 2014

Unspoken Reality: Friday Recap

This week has been a particularly long week for Mr. Caiden, with Wednesday making him 23 months old. One more month and we can officially say goodbye to adjusted age (the age he should be if he were born term/on his due date). He will officially be a former preemie then, though still not caught up by the magical and highly anticipated two years.

Last weekend, he got a surprise visit from his Nana and two uncles. He had a great time while they were over, but as soon as they left it was meltdown central.. which continued throughout the beginning of the week. Transitioning for him, is a big deal. Its more than just him not wanting to do something, he struggles with changing his focus from one thing to another, regardless of what it is. Even diaper changes are hard because it means he has to stop what he's doing.

Usually, we just restrain and wait out the screaming. Its quicker than trying (and always failing) to calm him down, but sometimes its more than just screaming.

Caiden is aggressive.. and really thats just a nice way of saying he's prone to violent tendencies. You wouldn't know it if you saw him outside of the house though. Usually he relies on screaming when we're out, and keeps the violence for at home. One thing I'm thankful for in our hectic life.

Tuesday, one of his meltdowns got to the point where he actually managed to hurt me and drew blood. He had never gotten to that point before. And frankly, it scared me. My baby isn't even two years old yet, and he's able to do THAT to me? What are we going to have to deal with in the future? Is he going to break our bones, require us to get stitches? How much worse is his rage going to get?

I don't have the answers, I'm not sure I could face them if I did. All I know is that we need to get control over it as soon as possible.

Which is, of course, easier said than done.

Especially when we haven't been able to find a form of discipline that works for him. Until we do, I'm afraid the slapping, kicking, throwing and biting are going to continue. And we just have to cope with it. I feel bad that he can't just say whats on his mind. I'm sure if he could talk (he has fewer than 10 words), a lot of his aggression would subside.

Instead, we have to interpret babbling and whining for what he wants. Unfortunately for all of us, we're usually wrong. Its like planning to go to France on vacation, only to find out that your plane has landed in Japan. All the French phrases you learned, are useless.

Usually he just resorts to screaming.

At the end of the day, after a two hour battle to get him to take just a few bites of his dinner (most of which is thrown on the floor), we're all spent.

Today is Friday, and we're about an hour and a half away from nap time.  My usual perfect sleeper woke up early this morning and has been throwing things everywhere. Momma bear hasn't had more than a minute to sit down and I'm currently writing this while I cook us breakfast. But thats okay, because soon he'll get to watch Bubble Guppies, and for most of it will sit still for whats likely to be the only time today, just like everyday before.

And that's okay too, because it makes him happy. It keeps him calm with the rest of the world tuned out... and for 25 minutes, he doesn't have to scream. He doesnt have to hit. He doesn't have to bang his head. He doesn't have to throw anything. He doesn't have to focus on anything other than dancing mermaids and his cup of milk.

And wouldn't you know, for an angry toddler, and an already exhausted mommy, thats about as good as it gets.

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